Funny things our kids say via Facebook Status Updates (2011 Edition)

This is the second post of funny things our kids say via Facebook Status Updates. If you’d like to see their 2009 & 2010 funnies, click here.  Enjoy and check back again because I will continue to update this blog as they continue to say funny things.

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Matthew D. Ruiz: Jacobi just informed me that Leia is at Walgreens with Padme. Which makes sense because Luke is at Walmart with Vader. Jacobi is going to meet them there. (Fri, 12 Aug 2011)

Matthew D. Ruiz: Tonight’s dinner conversation – Jacobi: “What’s that movie? The girl and the lion and the flying monkeys?” Malachi: “Is a tornado God’s way of helping man tear down stuff really quickly?” Answers: The Wizard of Oz and Yes. (Mon, 08 Aug 2011)

The funny man

Matthew D. Ruiz: Malachi likes to say “Voo Boo Oos” instead of “Vee Bee Ess”. Anyway, ours starts tomorrow. #VBS (Sat, 30 Jul 2011)

Matthew D. Ruiz: Malachi: “Sometimes when the sun gets in my eyes it makes me sneeze.” (Fri, 29 Jul 2011)

Matthew D. Ruiz: Me: “Malachi, you are S-M-A-R-T.” Kelly: “Do you know what that spells?” Malachi: “Cute?” (Mon, 18 Jul 2011)

Matthew D. Ruiz: Jacobi: “Dad, Malachi is being mean.” Malachi: “No, Jacobi is being wrong and I’m being right!” (Mon, 11 Jul 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: We were watering our plants this morning, Malachi said, “Jacobi do you know how the plants drink the water? They drink from their roots.” Jacobi, “How did you get so smart?” (Mon, 11 Jul 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Tonight I was getting the kids ready for bed, Malachi said, “Mommy, did you smell my toot? It smells like sausage.” Me: “Gross!” (Wed, 22 Jun 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Lost: Jessie from toy story. Reward: Jacobi’s happiness. (Sun, 19 Jun 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Today I gave the kids their snack when we got to the chiropractor’s office. Jacobi reachedinto my bag, “I’m still hungry, I think I’ll have another snack,” as she pulled out and began opening a feminine product. (Fri, 17 Jun 2011)

Ms. Angry Eyes

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Last night @ dinner Malachi said: “Mommy can I have some ketchup for my teeter totters?
(Translation: tater tots, but really they were popcorn shrimp) (Mon, 30 May 2011)

Matthew D. Ruiz: Kelly and I found something new to fight about: who gets to post the funny things the kids say. (Sun, 29 May 2011)

Matthew D. Ruiz: We’re watching the Oprah finale. Malachi says, “Is this talk for grown-ups? Because I don’t
understand a thing she’s saying.” (Wed, 25 May 2011)

Matthew D. Ruiz: Jacobi: “Mommy, were you a baby when you were a little kid?” (Tue, 10 May 2011)

Matthew D. Ruiz: Our 2011 Kentucky Derby Picks: Malachi: #16 – Animal Kingdom; Jacobi: #7 – Pants on Fire; Kelly :#16 – Animal Kingdom; Me: #13 – Mucho Macho Man (Sat, 07 May 2011)

Matthew D. Ruiz: Malachi just cut Jacobi’s hair … and Kelly is not here to deal with it. #crap (Sat, 30 Apr 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Jacobi Just got her first and Hopefully last mullet haircut from Malachi. (Sat, 30 Apr 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Jacobi: mommy, I squished one of God’s creatures. Malachi: she killed an ant! (Wed, 27 Apr 2011)

She is clearly the ringleader.

Matthew D. Ruiz: Malachi and Jacobi are out hunting for eggs … hehehe … but the Easter Bunny hasn’t come yet. (Sun, 24 Apr 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Funnies today on our trip down:  Jacobi “My bellybutton tickles.”  Malachi “Jacobi, you can be the sistersaurus.” (Fri, 01 Apr 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Jacobi was pretending to be a lion(lioness). She told me she had some cubs, I asked he if they were taking a nap. She said as she laid down on her side, “no mommy, they’re sucking my milk.” (Mon, 28 Mar 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Washed the blanket Malachi threw up on and changing it to the dryer found the TV remote. Oops. (Sun, 27 Mar 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Jacobi put a caterpillar rattle into a Slinky this evening & said he was in his cocoon. ..And he was soon going to be a beautiful butterfly. (Thu, 17 Mar 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: The kids must be upset @ daddy for being gone…but why do they have to all take it out on me? (Tue, 15 Mar 2011)

Matthew D. Ruiz: It’s a night with the boys … and the boys chose Dairy Queen for some reason (probably because they’re 4 and 1). (Thu, 10 Mar 2011)

Matthew D. Ruiz: “I’m the mac daddy, y’all.” – Jacobi (inspired by the Black Eyed Peas). (Wed, 09 Mar 2011)

Matthew D. Ruiz: “Daddy, can you see what I hear?” – Malachi commenting on the exciting police siren in the
distance. (Fri, 04 Mar 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: I asked malachi to get out the eggs for the cupcakes we were going to make. He opened the door, pulled out the carton, and two eggs fell on the floor and cracked. He said, ” oh no mommy, those two already hatched.” (Hahahaha so funny!) (Tue, 01 Mar 2011)

Just tryin' to survive

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: I overheard Malachi & Jacobi talking about marrying each other tonight…then Malachi asked me who Channing would marry since they only have one sister. (Mon, 14 Feb 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Favorite quote from the evening: jacobi: She doesn’t have a butt! Where’s her butt? (After building toy story 3 jessie mr. Potato head) (Fri, 11 Feb 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Malachi: mommy let’s do something together. Me: ok, what would you like to do? Malachi: let’s play hide-n-seek. Me: we already played that a lot today. Let’s play something else. Jacobi: how about hide AND GO seek? (Wed, 09 Feb 2011)

Matthew D. Ruiz: Does it get any better than your daughter singing along to Stuck Like Glue and Back to December all while explaining the plot of The Little Mermaid? I think not (Tue, 08 Feb 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: This morning malachi was screaming: mommy hurry its an emergency! he didn’t sound like it frantic so I didn’t go see what the emergency was. He came to find me and said: mommy its an
emergency! Daddy left the zebra cakes open! (Sat, 05 Feb 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Tonight @ dinner: Malachi: Mommy this green stuff(spinach) on the chicken tastes like really yummy broccoli (he HATES broccoli). (Tue, 01 Feb 2011)

Matthew D. Ruiz: “She’s giant!” Said Jacobi of the morbidly obese woman who walked by our table at Applebees. (Tue, 18 Jan 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Playing hide and seek w/the kids. Channing is my partner. I’m not sure that it’s quite fair. He doesn’t know how to be quiet yet. (Sun, 09 Jan 2011)

Kelly Swiercz Ruiz: Malachi just drew a line down his face from forehead to lips with a permanent marker. (Thu, 06 Jan 2011)

Channing doesn't say much yet, but just wait ...